are you my mentee?*

[Note:  This is a post for mentors.  The companion post for mentees is here.]

So you've gone to APSAnet, you've signed up to mentor, and you've just received an email telling you they've found a potential match.  Now what?

Don't rush into it.  Stop and assess whether you and your potential mentee are a good fit for one another.

You wouldn't marry the first person eharmony matched you up with, sight unseen, would you?  So don't rush into this, either.  Take the time to figure out if you and your potential mentee really do make a good match.

I suggest having a conversation - by phone, by email, in person at a conference - with your potential mentee to assess your fit.  What are some things you might consider?

• your motivations for mentoring.  If you really want to mentor a junior colleague on a tenure track at a liberal arts college, and APSA set you up with a graduate student who wants to teach at an R1, would you still want to do this?  What if you want to mentor a female theorist, but APSA set you up with a female Americanist?  Or you want to support racial minorities, but APSA matched you with a white, gay man?  Would you rather pass and wait for a closer match to your interests?

• your time vs. your mentee's needs.  If your mentee wants someone who can read drafts and talk frequently, do you really want to give them that much time?  How about a mentee just starting a tenure track, who wants occasional guidance for the next seven years until tenure time?  Think seriously about what you are willing to commit to, and how that fits with what your potential mentee wants. 

• your ability to be a good mentor to this particular person.  If your potential mentee is writing a dissertation with your best friend or your ex as their advisor, will you really be the best person to offer her guidance?  If your potential mentee works in the exact same research area as you, would you be depriving her of your ability to be an external letter writer for tenure, or to be a reviewer for her book manuscript?

Even if you are really enthusiastic about mentoring this particular person, by slowing things down and giving your potential mentee a chance to reflect on her needs and expectations, you are modeling for her a very important skill:  the ability to be very intentional about forming professional relationships.

--------------------

*I am indebted to Sheryl Sandberg for this blogpost title, which is a play on her insightful chapter in Lean In, entitled "Are You My Mentor?"