my six-month check in

I've been mentoring now for about six months, and I thought with the start of a new semester this would be a good time to reflect on what has been working and what has not.  I want to share my reflections as a part of my aspiration to generate conversations about mentoring in our field.  I'd love to hear what you have learned about mentoring, too, whether you've been a mentor or a mentee - or both.  Leave a comment below or send me an email.  (You can post a comment anonymously!)


What have I learned in the last six months?

• I really didn't need to know as much about mentoring as I thought I did.  At first, I was scouring the web looking for information about how to mentor.  There really isn't much information out there, but I don't think that made much of a difference.  I've still been able to do something that I think is of benefit to my mentees.  As usual, I'm going to insist that this is good news for all of you potential or actual mentors out there:  you can do it!

• Rather than working consistently on the long-term goals we set in our first conversation, my mentees often have new questions and issues to work through each time we talk.  There is no way for me to anticipate what questions they will have for me, or what they will want to discuss.  It might be about conferences, writing, the job market, publishing, colleagues, advisers, family, etc.  On the one hand, this means that we always have lots to talk about (something I worried about at first).  On the other hand, this means that the important and immediate issues are often getting in the way of working on the important and long-term issues.  I want to work on strategies to make sure the important but long-term stuff does not simply fall by the wayside.

• My mentees often seem to feel they should only make use of me when they have an immediate problem.  I've tried setting up monthly check-ins to counteract this:  so they know they always have a chance to check in.  I think I should do a better job of communicating with them that we are working on both their immediate concerns and the long-term goals we set at the beginning of the relationship.

• I am struggling with finding the balance between giving advice and showing them that they have the wisdom and the skills to answer their own questions.  I am not sure yet what that balance should look like, but I do worry that I have crossed over sometimes onto the "telling my mentee what to do" side of the street.  Something to keep an eye on.

I've also learned some qualities necessary to a successful mentorship:

1. voluntariness - both mentor and mentee should choose the relationship.  (I've seen a lot of attempts at mentoring fail because one party or the other wasn't clear on why they were doing this.  I think mentees, especially, need to choose to have mentors.)
2. confidentiality/safety - it is essential that the mentee be able to trust the mentor.  This, I think is crucial when mentorship is happening among persons in the same department or institution.  But I think it is important in all mentoring relationships.
3. structure - mentors need to provide some kind of leadership in the relationship, giving mentees a bit of structure to work with - especially at the beginning.  Mentoring programs that give mentors no instruction (I'm looking at you, APSA!) are less likely to be successful, because they are more dependent on individual mentors having more or less good instincts. It has been particularly discouraging to me to hear stories from people who have signed up for the APSA mentoring program and had bad experiences.  Let's change that!
4. persistence - mentors especially need to be persistent about following up with mentees (especially those who are diffident and/or at earlier career stages).  I'm going to go out on a limb here and assert that it is not a good mentoring practice to simply wait for the mentee to get in touch.  At least not at the beginning of a relationship.